In which we learn that I was not actually knitting a condom

Despite disconcertingly phallic beginnings, Sheldon turned out to be the cutest turtle I have ever knit, and possibly one of the cutest things ever to come off my needles:























Turtle-related quiz #1:
Which is the surest sign that knitcrit may be a few stitches short of getting proper gauge? Is it:
a. That she took Sheldon for a photo shoot at the pond in Central Park?
b. That she put down plastic wrap to protect him from germs/general public park nastiness?
c. That she often refers to herself in the third person when blogging?
d. all of the above.

Assembly of Sheldon was a little annoying, but only because I dislike sewing up; the pattern itself was clearly written, fun to knit, and free on Knitty.



Turtle-related quiz #2:
Not so much a quiz as a rorschach-esque test; consider the picture of Sheldon's little turtle limbs and note your first emotional response. Did you find the turtle limbs:
a. absolutely adorable
b. kind of disturbing
c. disturbing yet strangely attractive
d. no emotional response because they are just little bits of knit fabric.

No complaints or pattern notes; needle and yarn details logged on Ravelry, where you can see that the pattern clearly works with a wide range of yarns and gauges. I pretty much knit this one to the gauge suggested by the pattern. I love how he comes out of his shell.
















Sheldon's dreamy and completely child-safe eyes were a team effort, the result of a happy series of coincidences: the partner of my friend Michelle happened to call her from a craft store in St. Louis just after I had called Todd (who was with Michelle) to complain about not being able to find black felt anywhere in Manhattan. Michelle very cleverly and helpfully told her partner that she did in fact know someone in need of felt, and so my turtle eye felt was mailed from St. Louis and eventually delivered to my very doorstep by Michelle while she was on her way to Central Park for one of her characteristically long and amazingly fast runs (Michelle is a very, very fast long distance runner, placing third among women runners in a recent Columbus marathon, among many other honors. Very, very impressive). There was actually an earlier plan to do the felt drop over coffee, but that was another casualty of the below-described missing the departmental meeting screw-up. To make Sheldon's eyes, following a trick posted by a clever Ravelry user, I cut out two small circles of black felt and embroidered over them with embroidery thread. The pattern calls for child-safe button eyes, but if such a thing exists, it does not exist in garment district of Manhattan, which in certain circles is the same thing as not existing at all.
















Anyway. Sheldon's eyes: it took a village.

Sheldon was a baby shower gift for a friend who will be living in Indonesia for the next year. This meant, of course, that a cozy baby sweater would not have been overly useful. Packable, portable, lightweight, washable, and capable of evoking happy feelings in speakers of any language and those who have yet to acquire a language, Sheldon is both baby and Indonesia friendly, and few things can claim that, if you think about it. Go ahead. Think about it. Round out five minutes of procrastination to ten.

ANSWERS TO TURTLE-RELATED QUIZZES (no peeking before you choose your answers!)

Turtle-related Quiz #1
The correct answer is: d, of course.

Turtle-related Quiz #2
If you answered:
a. You need a pet. Or possibly a child. If you already have both, it means your parents didn't express enough love to you when you were little. (This was my answer, and for the record, I have one beta fish and no children).
b. You need to get out more often.
c. You are possibly a random serial killer who has stumbled onto this blog. Good thing you don't know who I am or where I live.
d. You are normal.